RedGage

I guess this episode would get the award for most blood since it was pretty bloody. Damn these vampires are awfully messy. You're supposed to drink the blood not wear it. Bill tried to escape but Eric wasn't any help. He did get the one guy and jumped on Russell but didn't kill him after all the King is three thousand. I'm just not sure what he was doing going onto his shoulders. I guess he could have been trying to behead him

I guess Eric's waiting to make his move. He did find out that Russell's the one that killed his parents when he was still human. So I'm thinking he's just waiting to make a move and this wasn't it which means he's looking like an asshole and Sookie isn't happy that the guy is just standing around doing nothing. But Talbot flipped out since he clearly doesn't like a mess. Eric ends up getting tortured by Lorena who must watch Buffy since she did say something about wearing a ribcage as a hat which I believe is what Buffy said to Whistler I think.

Sookie isn't able to access her fairy bug zapper powers so she gets shoved into a room by one of Russell's goons. It's just a good thing that Tara was nearby since she filled in Sookie on her plan to get out of that crazy place. I don't blame her one bit since I wouldn't want to be tied to a bed wearing that dreadful white nightgown while a psycho vampire was talking about making me his bride. She convinces Franklin to untie her and turns the guy on when she bites into his neck and I mean bite since that was pretty impressive for someone without fangs.

Tara makes her move in the morning. It was just lucky that there was a mace on the wall of the room that she was able to use to bash Franklin's brains out. Not the smartest idea in the world to have weapons in a room but of course this guy was so stupid he thought Tara wanted to become his vampire bride but I think she made herself pretty clear when she started swinging that mace. So she ended up covered in blood too but she cleaned up before getting a bowl of nuts that she said were for Sookie. Sookie's hiding behind the door so Tara tells the guy that Sookie escaped and the girls attacked him. You go girls.

Now Tara's ready to leave and I don't blame her but Sookie wants to get Bill. Tara isn't too thrilled about that but she goes off to find a way out and runs into Alcide who has a car. Hooray for Alcide. Sookie watches the trailer trash Barbie and Ken frolicking around after they had some Bill blood and made her way inside not even thinking about Lorena who was still lurking around. Oh Sookie talk about stupid but of course it's not like she could read Lorena's mind but I thought she was able to sense people or maybe that's just in the books. Come on Sookie zap that bitch or whatever it is you do with that bug zapping hand of yours. Oh where is Claudine when you need her?

Oh poor Lafayette's night goes from good to worse when those redneck bigots show up again. Bullies always like being in packs because by themselves they are cowards. They didn't like Jesus doing a little ass kicking along with Lafayette. Those guys are just morons because you can get your ass kicked just as much as you can by a straight guy. His poor car suffered some damage and so did his potential relationship with the cute guy too since he wasn't too happy when he found out about Lafayette's dealing. This leads to him being cranky not that you can blame him for that.

Jessica decided to have a little fun with Arlene. She told all of Arlene's customers not to leave a tip. Her fangs popped out because she was hungry after Arlene cut herself. Arlene of course freaked out. Maybe she should have offered Jessica a drink instead. Jessica does end up having the last customer who was so lady who forgot to get dressed or maybe she decided to have some peas before going to bed left without eating and met Jessica in the bathroom so she could have something to eat. Hooray she didn't kill this time. Well it's not like she has Bill around to help her out and poor Pam is still probably getting tortured. I do notice that Eric didn't seem to even give Pam a thought while he stood there and did nothing to help Bill escape from the King.

I think Sam is better off without that crazy family of his. It turns out that Mom's been fighting as a dog I would imagine and with her retiring Dad wants Toby to continue the family tradition. Oh yeah that's really sweet of Jolie or whatever the hell his name is to allow his wife to keep her child instead of getting an abortion. He's such a gem. She really should hang onto him. Oh wait no she shouldn't since he's an asshole. I just don't know how they made Toby turn into the dog before taking him away. They were smart enough to realize that Toby would make a fuss if he was in human form so now Sam's off to find him while Arlene's bitching about her kids not being able to have a gerbil. Of course she has no clue that the dog was Sam's brother.

Jason goes to see Crystal who pretends she doesn't know him and hello she has a fiancée whose face looked like it met a brick wall or perhaps a fist a few times. I do wonder if they are going to be shifters like they are in the book. It's just that she looks sweet when in the book she's actually a bitch. So Jason's all bummed about that which leads to him going to a car where these two are going at it and he goes into cop mode even though he isn't actually a cop. Did he slap that guy's ass? Maybe he was just comparing it to his. It is so weird not seeing him naked when he used to always be naked.

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