Love culture shock
It is said that you cannot help who you fall in love with, but would you fall in love with someone from a very different culture from your own? At the beginning of a relationship, it might seem as if love will overcome cultural differences, but can it always?
Starting a cross-cultural relationship
Dating someone from a different cultural background to your own can be hugely exciting at first. Browsing profiles on a dating website such as eHarmony.co.uk, their difference was part of their appeal.
Those from other cultures may seem exotic and interesting, while people of your own culture might seem dull by comparison. It is important to remember that, appealing as these early days of excitement and attraction are, you will need to deal with cultural issues if your relationship is to progress.
Getting serious
Once you begin to get to know each other and to think that you might like to move from dating to a serious relationship, you may find you start to hit cultural barriers. Using eHarmony free dating websites means you can meet people from across the globe, but that can bring its own problems.
Meeting your new partner’s family can sometimes be difficult. They may not approve of your relationship, and even if they do not actively disapprove, may find it difficult to relate to you and your family.
Differences in gender roles can be a particular issue –some cultures have fairly set expectations of the roles of men and women in the home and you may find that your partner and their family assume that you will follow their way of doing things.
If one or both of you is actively religious, you may find it hard to reconcile your beliefs. These and many other issues that you have not even considered can rear their heads as you get to know each other better – things that probably never occurred to you back when you were starting out on eHarmony UK and other dating sites.
None of these problems is insurmountable, but to overcome them takes a great deal of patience, compromise and talking.
Marriage, children and beyond
By the time you get to a stage in your relationship where you are considering marriage and children, you should have come to an agreement over any religious, cultural and family issues that have come up during your relationship. If you have not, now is the time to do so.
Marriage and children are likely to increase any pressures there are on your relationship. You may find that family on both sides begin to want to get involved in your relationship – grandparents are notorious for having strong opinions on childrearing, and even more so when faced with a culture they do not fully understand.
Act as a unit while allowing each other space to respect your own culture. Come agreements on the big things – such as where to live and how to educate your children – before they happen. Above all, remember what it is you love about each other as individuals, distinct from the cultures you come from.
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